I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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