My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
