Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
