problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize