I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
