do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
