If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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