he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize