What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
