Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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