i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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