Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
