I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
