I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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