C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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