im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize