dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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