you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
