but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize