she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
