A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
