Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
