I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize