Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
