You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
