thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Banned from zoo.
Again?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
50% drunk capacity currently
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
