K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
