just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
