I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
