my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
