he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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