what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
