i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
