I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
