Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
