apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize
