Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
