do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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