I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
