with your own penis?
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
