the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
