u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love you.
Bad choice
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
