one two three fourrrrnication!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
