Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
