i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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