Duck Duck Cougar?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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