THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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