Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
