Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Randomize
