Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
