yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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