I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
