epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
