I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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