Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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