Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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