Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
