when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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