mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
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