check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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