you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
