i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
