Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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