Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
