I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
