Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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